Exeter. This jumbled
confusion of a movie is little more than a bunch of exorcism clichés tossed
onto a lovely set – which makes it all the more annoying. Exeter’s glossy look and high production value belies a hackneyed, chaotic
story and uninspired characters. It’s a movie to watch while falling asleep, at
best.
Cooties. Although
this is really not one of the worst horror movies I’ve seen this year, it’s on
this list because it was such a disappointment. I had high hopes for an Elijah
Wood-produced and -starring zombie movie (it immediately brought to mind
nostalgic memories of The Faculty for
me), and I’m predisposed to like any movie with creepy, murderous children. Unfortunately,
Cooties failed to satisfy on any
level, be it laughs, gore, or suspense. It had a few good one-liners, but the
majority of the plot was simply too static and slow.
The Gallows. As
has been the case every year since forever, it seems, plenty of lame found
footage horror movies came out this year – Unfriended,
Nightlight, Creep – to varying degrees of middling success. However, The Gallows wins my personal prize for
worst FF-style horror because it has all the hallmarks of a typical FF movie
(annoying dialogue that does nothing to advance the plot, amateur acting, drab
camera angles), and absolutely nothing
else. It was a total drag.

Muck. Meant to be
a “throwback to old-school horror,” this derivative, hollow dribble is anything but. Muck lacks the heart and soul of
older slashers and tries to make up for it with boobs. Even for those who are really hard up, I think this movie will
fail to engage or titillate in any way.
Sinister II. “Here’s
an idea: let’s take the most boring, un-scary part of a great movie, and build
an entire sequel around it!” I think those were the actual words of the people who
came up with the plot of Sinister II.
But seriously, everyone knows the ghost children were the weakest part of the
original, and mostly fantastic, Sinister.
So why the hell would you make them the main characters of the sequel?

Knock Knock. Eli
Roth’s foray into erotic thriller territory is probably the most outstandingly
bad movie on this list. Totally ridiculous and often nonsensical, laden with
bad acting and risible dialogue (the pizza speech, my god), this
movie almost seems proud of its
badness. For that reason alone, it has a tiny
bit of potential for rewatching. Who knows, in five or ten years it might be a campy favorite of mine. But I seriously doubt it.
So there you have it; my least favorite horror films of 2015. Sorry to the losers - but at least you're excelling at something.
What's on your list of worst horror for the year? Tell me in the comments!
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